Barefaced Beautiful

Just Pretend It’s Sunday

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I’m just going to do it.

I haven’t posted since May, so that makes this post seem especially important, and therefore, especially difficult to write.

Ahhh!  The pressure! (I know I needn’t feel this way, but I do.)

Ok.  I’m moving on now…

My summer, just like yours I’m sure, absolutely flew by and here we are approaching October.  I love Fall.  I love the crisp air, the falling leaves and the smell of the earth.  What I don’t love is what typically happens when school starts.  Imagine a scene with me:

It’s 4:45 pm and the sun is coming in the window at a slanted angle.  Girls are on the couch snacking and watching a show, younger boys have finished homework and are playing with the neighbors.  Older boys are working at the dairy.  The house is not clean, but definitely “good-enough.”  I’ve accomplished what I could for the time-being if I set reasonable expectations, and my husband will be coming home soon.  Nothing terribly wrong here, right?

Oh wait.  Did I mention that it’s Monday??

This typical scenario was a recent occurrence for me, but add in that I could feel anxiety building in my belly because it was Monday.  It was a weekday.

I put my hand on my belly, took a breath and tried to determine what would be causing anxiety.  And then I realized that I was dreading what was to come next.  Making dinner, corralling people with the intension of enjoying a meal together, launching into the evening bedtime routine, and then attacking one or two more things that I hadn’t had an opportunity to accomplish earlier.

So, essentially, I had finished my day job and was getting ready to start my night job.  Bleh.  No wonder I felt anxious and slightly depressed.

Whether you are a stay-at-home mom, work-from-home mom, or a go-to-work mom, you know what I’m talking about.  Basically, you work all day, and then guess what? You get to work some more! (And notice I did say “get”, because having a family is definitely a blessing…)

I needed help!  I didn’t want to feel anxious or overwhelmed.  Granted, there are a few easy outs occasionally (a.k.a ordering pizza), but really there is no long-term escape.  Moms have a ton of work to do, and if we aren’t careful, days just run together in a never-ending cycle.

And being perfectly good, like He is, the Lord gave me help.  He whispered to my heart,

        “Just pretend it’s Sunday.“

Let me tell you, Just pretend it’s Sunday, has been transformational for me.  I love it when God knows just what I need.  Or rather, when I KNOW that He knows just what I need.

I plan to rest on Sundays.  I still fix food, especially for the girls. (Although I don’t typically cook fresh dinners on the weekends.  We just pull out left-overs and have something Chris’s family calls a “pick dinner”- pick what you want and eat it!)  On Saturday, I make sure my calendar is clear for Sunday and look at Monday so I can prep mentally.  As much as possible, I try to be off home-work duty by telling my boys to ask me for help before Sunday.  I engage the kids, but use the girls’ nap time to do whatever the heck I want.  Watch T.V. Cross-stitch. Sleep. Snuggle a boy or the dog. Read.

I love Sundays. I LOVE that God told me to just pretend it’s Sunday.

So, how have I implemented this concept, and why I am I sharing it?

Here’s the how:

Basically, I have cut way back on my daily to-do list. I have all the regular responsibilities involved in taking care of my family, my home and myself, and then I add on one or two extra things.  Today, I’m writing this post.  Anaya gets home from school around 4:10, and at that point, I’m transitioning into my daily Sunday night.  Anything I haven’t accomplished gets deleted from my calendar or moved to another day when I think I’ll be able to do it.  Then, I “come home” from work.  I’m done working for the day… I move into the time of day where I enjoy the people I love.  That does involve cooking dinner, but something about telling myself that I’m now just loving my family and prepping to enjoy them has really made a difference for me.  I do things that I might do on Sunday like drink a glass of wine while I cook or lay down on the couch for a little bit if I’m worn out. After dinner, we put the girls to bed, and I rest before we go to bed.  No more work.  No more e-mails.  No more laundry. No more cleaning.  I do something that feels relaxing or fun.  Usually it looks like chilling with Chris and watching a little television, working on a craft, or doing my nails.

Here’s the why:

I’m sharing this because I’ve gone from 27 hours of hired help and my super helpful mother-in-law living with us to – nothing! No extra help.  I thought I was going to die and instead, here I am thriving.  Thank you, Jesus!  This Sunday night mentality has blessed me and my family richly, and I hope it helps you, too.  I pray for grace and mercy if you feel like you can never stop working.  I pray for the extra help you need (I so understand seasons of needing extra help!!) and the courage to cut out life-sucking “stuff”- whatever your “stuff” happens to be.

 

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A New Year

It’s been a long time since I’ve greeted a new year with resounding gusto.  Usually, I’m smiling and kissing my hubby while simultaneously feeling guilty about all that wasn’t achieved that year.  I thought I would be heading into 2015 doing a victory dance because I FINALLY conquered that thing that kept rolling from year to year.  Instead, it was sort of half-celebration.  It seems I’ve only achieved partial victory, after all.

So, January 1st was a battle for me.  I spent most of the day feeling depressed.  How can a person feel so sure of where they stand, only to discover that position is a few poor decisions away from feeling like she’s back to square one?  My answer to that question is another question.  Has my reality actually been changed by my recent decisions?  If not, then I know I’m fighting a battle of the mind… a battle of perspective, which was true in my case.  I finally dragged myself into God’s Word at the end of the day.

I read Genesis 1-3, the story of creation and the fall.  In the middle of my struggling, God shared two things with me.

–  When God says something, it happens, and He says it is good.  That is truth I can stand on.  So, when He has begun a good work in me and I feel that I’ve undone it all within a week, is that true?  Truth says, “And I am certain that God, who began the good work within you, will continue his work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns.” (Philippians 1:6)

– Secondly, the Lord showed me something interesting that I hadn’t considered before.  This is what Genesis 2 says about the Garden of Eden: “Now the Lord God had planted a garden in the east, in Eden; and there he put the man he had formed.”  The thing I hadn’t considered before was that God had placed Adam and Eve in a defined space.  It’s true, God had given them the mandate to multiply, fill, and subdue the earth, but Adam and Eve He had placed in the garden.  They knew where they belonged and what their responsibilities were.  That all changed with the Fall.  After they sinned, God sent them into the whole world.  What then, was their defined space to fill and subdue?  To me, this seems like the very beginning of New Year’s Resolutions.  Man looking to make a difference in his own life and the lives around him… but we so often over-promise and under-deliver.  We don’t know anymore where we belong or what our responsibilities are, so we try to subdue the whole stinkin’ earth!  No wonder we are overworked and stressed out, and often feeling, like I have for so many years, that another year has gone by without having achieved those elusive goals.

So, what am I doing with these two thoughts in light of the discouragement that I was facing yesterday?  I’m praying, Lord, I do know that the work you began in me in 2014 is something You will complete.  It’s Your work, and it’s good.  I can trust You even when I don’t trust myself.  Secondly, I am being thoughtful about the year to come.  We live in the big, wide world, with so many opportunities and needs.  We need the Lord to define our gardens for the coming year.  I’m praying, Lord, if there is anything you want to add or subtract from my life in 2015, show me!  In the mean time, help me to continue in what You’ve already been doing.

Happy {blessed and anointed, directed and purposeful} New Year to you all.

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Beautiful Inadequacy

My Inadequacy Displays His Beauty

Well, here it is, the guest blog post entitled Beautiful Inadequacy that started this whole journey/adventure of starting my own blog.  Please check it out and celebrate what God is doing with me!  I wrote about this special opportunity in my post, Crying in the Shower, if you are interested in reading a little more about the story behind the guest post.

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I’m Not a Very Good Juggler

There are very few days in my life when I have the feeling that I’ve got everything under control the way I’d like.  I feel like a juggler… but not always such a great one.  I can handle five balls (or blazing rings of fire!) but not six.  Why then, do I tie my sense of security to being able to juggle six, or possibly even seven at a time?

Practically, I mean that although I’m currently successfully tackling eating healthier food, working out has dropped off the list.  And if I add working out back in, laundry will most likely get out of control.  And if laundry is washed, folded, and put away, chances are good that haven’t called my best friend back. I think you might be able to relate.

There’s something going on here on a deeper, darker level… because in the end, does it really matter if laundry piles up a little bit?

I have been afraid.  Afraid that I won’t be able to maintain all my responsibilities and that I will get worn out by the monotony of trying.  It leaves me feeling very unsettled because I could have actually had a pretty wonderful day- if I wasn’t too busy beating myself up because I couldn’t figure out how to get that sixth ball into the mix.  I must need MORE DISCIPLINE!  MORE DILIGENCE! MORE CONSISTENCY!

And, more brains, and more arms, and more legs, and more mouths, and more hands.

What if I actually just need a new peace-giving perspective?

And perspective is what the Lord gave me last week when He helped me see something new in an old story- Moses and the Israelites’ story.  The Lord told Moses, in Exodus 23, that as He brought the Israelites into the Promised Land,  He would not drive out all their enemies at once.  He did this so that the wild animals would not overrun the land.  As I was studying the passage, verse 29 jumped off the page.  I am understanding more and more about how the Israelite’s journey parallels mine as a believer and how so many of the details surrounding all the events of those 40 years in the desert point to Jesus and His work on the cross.  A thought occurred to me…

I have been saved from bondage, like the Israelites, and my life on earth parallels the Israelite’s journey through the desert.  Canaan, their Promised Land, is my eternal life in Heaven.  Until the Israelites had fully entered the Promised Land, they had enemies to battle.  The perspective that the Lord gave me was that until I am in heaven, I will have enemies to battle… they will never all be fully conquered on earth, and that is by God’s gracious design.  If all of my enemies were conquered at once, if I could indeed juggle every ball, every day, I might get a little too comfortable here and forget this is not my home. Heaven is my promised land, where every enemy will be conquered.

That perspective brings me peace.  It’s okay that I can’t quite have everything under control the way I’d like.  That’s actually God’s design… not my lack of juggling ability.  He wants me to remain dependent on Him and continually looking toward Heaven.  May you be encouraged, fellow juggler, and feel God’s pleasure as you continue on your journey… giving God your very best, but with the fresh perspective that He’s gracefully keeping your eyes on Him and your hope in Heaven.

 

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