Joy Archives - Barefaced Beautiful

Just Pretend It’s Sunday

September 28, 2015

I’m just going to do it.

I haven’t posted since May, so that makes this post seem especially important, and therefore, especially difficult to write.

Ahhh! The pressure! (I know I needn’t feel this way, but I do.)

Ok. I’m moving on now…

My summer, just like yours I’m sure, absolutely flew by and here we are approaching October. I love Fall. I love the crisp air, the falling leaves and the smell of the earth. What I don’t love is what typically happens when school starts. Imagine a scene with me:

It’s 4:45 pm and the sun is coming in the window at a slanted angle. Girls are on the couch snacking and watching a show, younger boys have finished homework and are playing with the neighbors. Older boys are working at the dairy. The house is not clean, but definitely “good-enough.” I’ve accomplished what I could for the time-being if I set reasonable expectations, and my husband will be coming home soon. Nothing terribly wrong here, right?

Oh wait. Did I mention that it’s Monday??

This typical scenario was a recent occurrence for me, but add in that I could feel anxiety building in my belly because it was Monday. It was a weekday.

I put my hand on my belly, took a breath and tried to determine what would be causing anxiety. And then I realized that I was dreading what was to come next. Making dinner, corralling people with the intension of enjoying a meal together, launching into the evening bedtime routine, and then attacking one or two more things that I hadn’t had an opportunity to accomplish earlier.

So, essentially, I had finished my day job and was getting ready to start my night job. Bleh. No wonder I felt anxious and slightly depressed.

Whether you are a stay-at-home mom, work-from-home mom, or a go-to-work mom, you know what I’m talking about. Basically, you work all day, and then guess what? You get to work some more! (And notice I did say “get”, because having a family is definitely a blessing…)

I needed help! I didn’t want to feel anxious or overwhelmed. Granted, there are a few easy outs occasionally (a.k.a ordering pizza), but really there is no long-term escape. Moms have a ton of work to do, and if we aren’t careful, days just run together in a never-ending cycle.

And being perfectly good, like He is, the Lord gave me help. He whispered to my heart,

“Just pretend it’s Sunday.“

Let me tell you, Just pretend it’s Sunday, has been transformational for me. I love it when God knows just what I need. Or rather, when I KNOW that He knows just what I need.

I plan to rest on Sundays. I still fix food, especially for the girls. (Although I don’t typically cook fresh dinners on the weekends. We just pull out left-overs and have something Chris’s family calls a “pick dinner”- pick what you want and eat it!) On Saturday, I make sure my calendar is clear for Sunday and look at Monday so I can prep mentally. As much as possible, I try to be off home-work duty by telling my boys to ask me for help before Sunday. I engage the kids, but use the girls’ nap time to do whatever the heck I want. Watch T.V. Cross-stitch. Sleep. Snuggle a boy or the dog. Read.

I love Sundays. I LOVE that God told me to just pretend it’s Sunday.

So, how have I implemented this concept, and why I am I sharing it?

Here’s the how:

Basically, I have cut way back on my daily to-do list. I have all the regular responsibilities involved in taking care of my family, my home and myself, and then I add on one or two extra things. Today, I’m writing this post. Anaya gets home from school around 4:10, and at that point, I’m transitioning into my daily Sunday night. Anything I haven’t accomplished gets deleted from my calendar or moved to another day when I think I’ll be able to do it. Then, I “come home” from work. I’m done working for the day… I move into the time of day where I enjoy the people I love. That does involve cooking dinner, but something about telling myself that I’m now just loving my family and prepping to enjoy them has really made a difference for me. I do things that I might do on Sunday like drink a glass of wine while I cook or lay down on the couch for a little bit if I’m worn out. After dinner, we put the girls to bed, and I rest before we go to bed. No more work. No more e-mails. No more laundry. No more cleaning. I do something that feels relaxing or fun. Usually it looks like chilling with Chris and watching a little television, working on a craft, or doing my nails.

Here’s the why:

I’m sharing this because I’ve gone from 27 hours of hired help and my super helpful mother-in-law living with us to – nothing! No extra help. I thought I was going to die and instead, here I am thriving. Thank you, Jesus! This Sunday night mentality has blessed me and my family richly, and I hope it helps you, too. I pray for grace and mercy if you feel like you can never stop working. I pray for the extra help you need (I so understand seasons of needing extra help!!) and the courage to cut out life-sucking “stuff”- whatever your “stuff” happens to be.

I Want Cookies, Too

February 7, 2015

Yesterday my daughter, Milena, and I were driving home. She was crying. Loudly. Again… It looked kind of like the picture above… except strapped in a carseat. Not my idea of a whole lot of fun. Anyway, I have learned that sometimes she just cries, and she gets so upset that I don’t think even she knows what she wants. But that doesn’t stop me from at least trying to figure it out. Sometimes I can help her and sometimes I can’t, but I do try, and if I try and can’t help her it gives me peace that at least, well, I tried.

So, it was pretty exciting when, while driving yesterday I was actually able to figure out what she wanted. Drum roll, please…

COOKIES AND PLAY. (of course!) She, at eight in the morning, wanted cookies and to play. Neither of which I could offer her in that moment.

It got me thinking…I get it, girl. I want cookies, too. And, yes! I want to play.

The problem is, life is mostly broccoli and work.

I have conversations with my kids about this reality. They usually go something like this… “I am sure you don’t want to [insert any number of unpleasant activities. Or, basic day-to-day stuff like changing underwear.] I’m not asking you to do it because it’s fun. I’m asking you to do it because you are a part of a family, and we work together. It has to be done, and we are a team.” And, depending on my level of frustration, I may or may not go on to list all of the things I do every day, not because I want to, but because I have to. In truth, very little of life is comprised of doing activities I want to do. Very little of life is cookies and play.

Paul wrote about this in Philippians. He said, “Do everything without grumbling or arguing, so that you may become blameless and pure, ‘children of God without fault in a warped and crooked generation.’ Then you will shine among them like stars in the sky as you hold firmly to the word of life. And then I will be able to boast on the day of Christ that I did not run or labor in vain.”

In Colossians, Paul also said, “And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.”

So, where does that leave my kids? Where does that leave me??

I have two thoughts:

1) I was in a spinning class last week, and the instructor said, “Tell your brain to say ‘yes’.” It really impacted me, because I realized, here I am in this class- I’ve committed to it, and here I am. And yet, I am resisting the work. I’m thinking about how hard this is rather than submitting to the moment and welcoming the work. I think that’s what Paul meant. If I know I am supposed to be doing something, well, then stop grumbling about it and do it as for Jesus. In my Bible study this week, I was convicted. The Lord helped me see that often times I am appearing to submit to an action, but in my mind, I’m not committed to loving God and others in that moment. Lord, help me to make serving You and loving others the focus, not only in my actions, but in my mind! If it is broccoli time, eat that broccoli!

2) Undoubtedly, we all absolutely need to have some cookies and playtime. We are not workhorses. Burnout is a very real thing, and I pretty much reached that this time last year. I had to get help to create some space in my life so I could once again serve others. We need to rest. We need to laugh. We need to engage in activities that we find refreshing. It can’t be cookie and playtime all the time, but it should be some of the time.

So, may I encourage you? When is the last time you had a cookie? Do you need to be refreshed so that you might refresh others? I pray the Lord will give you insight in how to create space for that. Or, are you choking down the broccoli the Lord has served you, while grumbling in your mind (or even out loud!) about what you’d rather be having? May the Lord give you grace and courage to try engaging in those activities with thanksgiving.

The Cost of Counting the Cost

December 19, 2014

“The Israelites didn’t have to ‘count the cost.’ They only had to give out of willing hearts.” This is a note I wrote down as I listened to Karen, our Bible Study Fellowship lecturer, as she spoke two weeks ago in the sanctuary filled with several hundred women. I know she wasn’t addressing me specifically, but the Lord was… and the lightbulb came on. God helped me understand how to carry out the “what” that He had spoken to me earlier that morning.

What had God spoken to my heart as I read His Word earlier that day?

SPOIL HIM. LOVE HIM LAVISHLY.

“Him” is my husband, and he has been going through a discouraging season… just feeling overwhelmed by all that is required of a man leading a family, a ministry, and working full-time in a secular job.

I was reading from Exodus 35 and 36. The Israelites were called to give offerings of their time, talents, and material goods, as they were willing, to the construction of the tabernacle. No one came around to each tent to make sure everyone contributed. They simply gave as their hearts prompted them. And they gave, and they gave, and they gave – until Moses actually had to tell them to stop. Can you imagine that kind of generosity today? The modern day dollar value of what the Israelites had given is in the tens of millions… but they never counted the cost. They simply gave.

I would say that I am good at making sure my husband is “taken care of.” To me, that implies that the basics are covered, but if I am honest, I can’t say that I am loving him out of the overflowing generosity of my heart. When I go above and beyond, truthfully, I am counting the cost. You might call it keeping track.

Proverbs 23:6-7 convicts me. “Do not eat the food of a begrudging host, do not crave his delicacies; for he is the kind of person who is always thinking about the cost. “Eat and drink,’ he says to you, but his heart is not with you.”

When I count the cost, I become afraid. Will I run out of time? Will I have enough energy? Will my needs be met? If I am counting the cost, I will give, but it is a calculated gift. How do I move beyond this level of giving?

The lightbulb that came on during the lecture was this: Lavish love happens when I am NOT counting the cost.

But how do I choose to lose track of my giving?? Here are two ideas:

First, Karen said, “Generosity is a byproduct of a heart moved by God.” I must connect regularly and deeply with God by soaking up His Word. I don’t have to save some for myself if I am following God’s command to be on a special mission of grace-giving to one of His kids. There will be enough. THERE WILL BE MORE THAN ENOUGH, because the God of the Universe has filled me with His ability to pour out.

Second, Karen encouraged us to practice what she calls “spontaneous generosity.” She said that generosity doesn’t need to be complicated… prayerfully ask the Lord to place you on “need alert,” and respond as He leads you.

I wonder what all this will look like as I respond to God’s calling me to spoil my husband? Lord, fill me with Your heart for my husband, and let that pour out. Help me listen to your leading and respond with the joy and peace that comes from casting aside concern for the cost.

Is there anyone that the Lord might be calling you to spoil? I pray that the Lord’s lavish love will begin to pour out of us as we lose track of what we’ve given.

Yes, Lord!

December 4, 2014

Oh, the shaking knees and lost sleep when we are learning to say “Yes, Lord” to the big things in life. For me, saying yes to things like adoption. Saying yes to homeschooling and then, yes to putting my kids back in school. Later, saying yes to teaching at my kids’ school… you know, the BIG stuff. Along with the fear, however, there is also a sense of excitement and passion to be a part of something worthwhile- something important!

But what happens after the initial calling? Then the big adventures – the big “yes’s” become a series of daily acts of obedience.

Then, where is the “Yes, Lord”?

I had a revelation this morning as I was driving and listening to a worship song. There was a simple line repeated over and over… “I say yes, Lord!” I began to wonder what might change in my attitude and actions if I just said yes to the Lord every time I encountered resistance in my flesh to doing the daily tasks God has called me to do.

Don’t feel like changing that stinky diaper? Yes, Lord. Don’t want to make dinner? (I just did that last night! Sheesh!) Yes, Lord. Getting tired of persevering in helping my kids learn to love each other? Yes, Lord. Too tired to be affectionate with my husband? Yes, Lord. One more load of laundry? Yes, Lord!

Sometimes I feel guilty when I don’t want to serve others. In the past I thought that the problem was that I needed to practice more thankfulness, so every time I didn’t want to “do the right thing” I should give thanks for that person or that scenario. I would have equated saying yes to the Lord with thankfulness.

It’s true- God does tell us to give thanks always. 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 says, “Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.”

Does this mean I should be saying thank you to the Lord for the baby that I put the food into that became the poo that has filled the diaper I am currently changing? Well, yes… but for me, I don’t think lack of thankfulness for my baby, or food, or disposable diapers is what causes me to grow weary of doing good. I think the Lord wants to take it one level deeper.

Back to saying yes to the Lord and why I think focusing on saying “Yes, Lord” in addition to “Thank you, Lord” could be revolutionary for you and me.

I believe that the order of commands in the verses above matters. If I have to start with an aspect of the fruit of the Spirit- joy… what is the seed of that fruit?

THE SEED OF JOY IS THE VERY PRESENCE OF GOD.

Read Psalm 16:7-11

I will praise the Lord, who counsels me;
even at night my heart instructs me.
I keep my eyes always on the Lord.
With him at my right hand, I will not be shaken.

 Therefore my heart is glad and my tongue rejoices;

     my body also will rest secure,

because you will not abandon me to the realm of the dead,

     nor will you let your faithful one see decay.
 You make known to me the path of life;

     you will fill me with joy in your presence,

     with eternal pleasures at your right hand.
The person whose tongue rejoices is the one who knows the joy of being in the Lord’s presence.
LIFE is about BEING WITH GOD.  

When I say “Yes, Lord!” I am reminded that He is with me. He is near. He loves me. Being with Him and helping others to know His presence is what all of the BIG assignments and the resulting little stuff are about. When I obey God, I am embracing Him. The cool thing is that if I can really grasp that God is with me every moment of every day and that He is loving me and leading me, His living joy will bubble out of me. Thankfulness will become the natural fruit from the root of being deeply planted in the awareness of the presence of the Lord. Let your “Yes, Lord” remind you to be rooted in embracing His presence in your life, rather than focusing on embracing your task at hand… and then, experience thankfulness pour out of that.