Depending on your perspective, something that is either amusing or hurtful happened to me today.  I was shopping and chatting with the woman behind the counter. I happened to mention my six children to the her and the next thing I knew, she blindsided me with, “Are you expecting another little one?”

Uh, no.  Big time NO. (In fact, the last “little one” I gave birth to is almost a decade old.)

A year ago,  I probably would have gone home, put on sweats, and soothed myself with cookies.  But, today, I’m happy to say that I’m settling down in the amused camp.  Yes, you can be sure I have been pulling my gut in a little more today, but I’m finding that I’m chuckling about it.

So, what has changed over the last year that has enabled me to withstand humility’s sting?  I got OFF track.  Since that last “little one” that I mentioned above was born, I have struggled to get on top of my health.  I had reached a point where I felt like I was on this downhill track and I couldn’t get off.  I wrote about it in one of my past posts, called The Long Journey to Health, if you are interested in reading more about how I began to make a change for the better. Currently, I’m not where I want to be, but I’m getting there.   Progress… the process, is powerful.  Where I used to feel insecure and hopeless, I now feel secure and hopeful.

Freedom and relief are the fruit of diligent effort in the process, not in the arrival.

And what is arrival, anyway?  Does it mean that you look like you did when you were twenty?  Does it mean no one ever asks you if you are pregnant, when you aren’t?? Does it mean reaching a goal weight or fitting in to a certain size of clothing?

No.  “Arrival” is submitting to the process.  Let’s face it: no matter what we do, we are all getting older, more wrinkly, and saggier… we can’t place our hope or identity in our bodies, or what other people say or think about our bodies.  Peace comes from making the next right choice and choosing to settle my identity into pleasing the Lord.  I’ve finally submitted myself to a pattern of more healthy choices, and I know the mental and emotional freedom that I have because of that is indeed pleasing to Him.

So… because I am in the process, making progress, I’m okay.  Apparently, I can be blindsided and still find myself standing up straight.  Thank you, Jesus!

Is there a process you need to submit yourself to?  Just one day at a time, find yourself right where you need to be… walking in the freedom and peace that come from just doing what you are called to do today, moment by moment.

Or, what if you are like I was for so long?  Not sure how to get off that crazy negative track.  Not sure about the process the Lord wants to take you though.  Pray, friend!  God doesn’t want you to walk in confusion and defeat. James 1:5 says, “If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.”  Then, when the Lord speaks, grab a buddy and start walking it out.

Join me in saying, “I’m not where I want to be, but I’m not where I used to be!”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

My tools had gotten very dull… lots of digging into the hard earth in a desert wasteland.  But I was trying, that’s for sure.  Or, at least thinking about trying.

There’s got to be water here, if I dig deep enough!

What am I talking about?  Most women’s bane of existence.  [Truthfully, I had no idea what “bane” actually means, so I looked it up:  a cause of great distress or annoyance.  YEP.  It applies here.] I’m talking about weight loss, or your health plan, or diet, or whatever else you may have decided to call it.  I’ve called it my “health journey.”  And what a journey it is and has been.

I’ve been working at taking care of myself since my fourth son, and last biological child, was born.  He’s nine and a half.  Plus all the years before that between the births of his older brothers, plus all the years before that when I didn’t feel good about myself even though I had a body that would seem to me now to be the body of a supermodel.  Does that seem like a run-on sentence to you?  It certainly feels like a run-on issue in my life.

In the past, I would read about how the Israelites managed to turn a week-long journey through the desert into a 40-year saga, and I would shake my head in confusion.  Hello, people!  God just parted the Red Sea!  What do you mean, where is the water?  But, I actually don’t see it like that anymore.  I had the sobering revelation a while ago that the Israelites extended their journey just like I have mine… by simply doing the same thing they had done yesterday.  Get up, eat the manna, grumble, wander, go to bed, repeat.

 

They were trying to get from Point A to Point B without ever giving their hearts to the Lord.

 

So, I’ve been thinking about all of this as it relates to a specific occurrence in Israel’s journey and how it overlaps with my current state of affairs.  Shortly after the Lord had parted the Red Sea, God’s chosen people found themselves in need of water for a second time.  The first time was only three days after crossing the Red Sea, and the Lord provided fresh water for his people by instructing Moses to throw a piece of wood into bitter water, making the water become sweet.

Even after witnessing the miracle of the provision of fresh water not long before, the Israelites thirsted and raged against Moses and God again.  Exodus 17:3-4 says, “But the people were thirsty for water there, and they grumbled against Moses. They said, ‘Why did you bring us up out of Egypt to make us and our children and livestock die of thirst?’ Then Moses cried out to the Lord, ‘What am I to do with these people? They are almost ready to stone me.’”  The Lord graciously showed Moses a rock, and commanded him to hit it with his staff.  What must have been a huge amount of water, in order to nourish the great mass of people, gushed out of the rock.

Before this happened, I wonder if any of the people had begun to dig for water out of desperation.  Fear and fatigue must have set in as they toiled.  And this leads me back to my “health journey.”  I have toiled.  I have worried.  I have wandered.  I have thirsted.  All of this, when the Lord had abundant water available to me.

 

But I, also, had been trying to get from Point A to Point B without letting the Lord have my heart.

 

I wanted to be nourished and guided without ever fully submitting to His best for me.  I’ve been digging and toiling for years, when all along the Lord wanted to give me the gift of His refreshment.

 

He wanted to do an amazing work in me, not watch me work.

 

A month ago, I woke up with a specific eating plan on my heart.  I knew the Lord gave me the idea because I have learned how He speaks to me. (Another topic all together.)  It requires planning and preparation, so yes, I do have to make an effort.  The difference from all the other efforts I’ve made, however, was that I approached this plan as a fast.  All the other times, I’ve tried to figure out how I can still eat whatever I want and also achieve my desired results. That just hasn’t worked for me, and this plan didn’t leave that as an option.

I am amazed.  This is the first time I have fully, faithfully submitted myself to boundaries, and I have seen the Lord strike the rock and pour out the water that I have been so thirsting for.   I feel that He has been waiting for me to run out of my own strength and turn to Him.  As my body is changing, so is my heart for Him.

Sister, I want to encourage you.  Let the Lord work in you.  Seek Him.  Ask Him where the water is and then listen to Him for direction on how to obtain it.  Don’t give into fear.  He loves you.  He is your Provider.  He is your Rock.  He is your Living Water.

Please share your journey with me – the ups and the downs, that we may encourage one another!